The Failing Pitchfork Times Gave Grizzly Bear’s Album the Same Score as Lil Peep’s. SAD

Yup, they really did. Here’s why that’s absurd.

Let’s just start by reflecting on some of the press Pitchfork has recently given to the latest and lamest in the gimmicky rap arena. These mothafuckas ACTUALLY had the gumption to refer to the flash tattoo coated bedroom rapper as “The Future of Emo” and that he has found “the common ground between trap and Third Eye Blind.” 

BRO. There is absolutely no common ground between trap and Third Eye Blind, are you kidding me? He definitely didn’t find shit. Did you actually hear yourself say that out loud first before firing it off on Twitter?

Upon further reflection, I guess one could reach a common ground when considering Third Eye Blind’s most cherished smash hit and much of Lil Peep’s subject matter is about suicide. The difference being that “Jumper” is about persuading somebody to not jump off of a building, whereas Peep’s music is so bad it makes you want to take the plunge.

Ok, that’s insensitive and I understand that suicide is not a laughing matter, but straight up, I tried to listen to Come Over When Your’e Sober and only made it about half way through before I thought about offing myself right then and there.

Which brings us to the plain and simple fact that Pitchfork, one of the most esteemed music publications on the internet, awarded it a whopping 7.3 on their 1-10 scale rating system; a generous C- in grade school terms. Maybe I could live with it and chalk it up as a simple misstep from their review team… if they didn’t give the same fucking score to Grizzly Bear’s wildly intricate and musically exquisite new record, Painted Ruins. 

Grizzly Bear are heralded as one of the most musically adept bands in contemporary rock. It’s why legends like Radiohead have praised their efforts time and time again. The Brooklyn based four-piece boasts a five album discography, with each individual record consisting of vibrant string sections, exuberant vocal harmonies, and complex song structures that only true masters of the craft could concoct.

Painted Ruins is no exception. Expanding on an electronically tinged sound explored on their previous effort, Shields, Grizzly Bear return to form from a 5 year hibernation period to bless us with an absolute monster of a record. One that may be their fullest and most well produced to date.

It’s poppy when it wants to be poppy; experimental enough to please the snobs; instrumentally provocative; and yet… a revolting 7.3 on the Pitchfork scale.

I don’t mean to imply that Grizzly Bear deserves a resounding 10 here, but to give it the very same score as an album that is being laughed at and scorned in both the rap community and “emo” community a like? That’s some dumb shit y’all just did. 

Lil Peep’s Come Over When You’re Sober flips samples from beloved bands of the early to mid 2000’s pop-punk scene like Brand New and The Postal Service and raps over them with the lyrical ability of a teenager with a learning disability.  Sporting bars like,

“In the back of the club with the GothBoiClique
Iced out teeth on an iced out whip
With the limousine tints, you can suck my dick,”

with a generic, played out flow that can be heard from just about any Soundcloud rapper in existence. But all of a sudden you throw it on top of pop-punk riffs and sing some whiney hooks and you’ve got something ‘revolutionary’?

Nah dude, it still sucks. No matter which way you spin it, there is just no god damn way Peep’s album is musically equivalent to the glory that is Painted Ruins.

That’s it…I didn’t want to say it, but here it is: the failing Pitchfork times is #fakenews. SAD.


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