If you’re like most people and try to distance yourself from anyone with clown facepaint and DIY tattoos of boobs, you may have missed this years Gathering of the Juggalos 2017 Infomercial.

In an honorable attempt to advertise the Insane Clown Posse‘s annual redneck retreat, Psychopathic Records has released what might be the greatest, and what is, for sure, the worst festival promo ever made.

The seemingly never ending “infomerical” plays out like a bad public access cable program taken ahold of by some methy extras from The Devil’s Rejects. The infamous Killer Clowns, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, are joined by some stubby little dweeb (who I have not yet identified), who together detail the festival’s live music roster, sideshows, and sporting events by shouting them in sexual euphemisms and redneck nursery rhymes.

“Like a horny hooker, it’s going down, bitch!”

The festival will showcase rappers like Kung Fu Vampire, Big Hoodoo, and Psychostik, who will take the stage to punish you mercifully and ensure you have an awful experience. Don’t worry about accidently missing ICP, as they will be performing about a dozen times across a 4 day span.  Check our official The Worst of the GOTJ Playlist for an inside peek on the action.

The sideshows and additional activities include literally every single white trash past time to ever exist, including monster trucks, pro wrestling, strippers & juggallette beauty pageants. I’m serious when I say every. They’ve even got a mud dousing wet t-shirt contest.

Perhaps the single sideshow that intrigues me the most, though, is Mike Busey’s “Big Thangs and Juicy Poopers party.” Excited to check that out.

Despite my blatant shit talking, I truly believe this promo is a work of art. An ingenious, on-brand piece of marketing material perfectly targeted towards the middle American empire they have built. ICP and the festival as a whole have cornered a big niche in a gigantic market that is redneck America.

See, Juggallos pride themselves on being flagrant, vulgar, and repulsive. They think it’s dope. And it is kind of dope. It’s a community of strangers who wear butt-plugs and spray soda at eachother. I see no harm in that.

Really, there’s no shame in taking your ‘Faygo flavored areolas’ out to Oklahoma City to see the Insane Clown Possee perform like 45 times, or perhaps to root on Daddy Long Legs as he tries to break his sex record of 69 juggalettes in one single Gathering.

But if you’re like us and just want to laugh hard at this, check out the infomercial above and listen to our official: The Worst of the GOTJ 2017 playlist here:

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/1266910/playlist/66LD9Y22iFB5NWy2kKjuPF