Pornhub’s Really Good At Marketing; Here’s Their Latest Campaign

Their newest “Premium Places Initiative” might be their best work to date.

Hosting a porn site on the internet these days is almost as worthless as maintaining a music blog— the reason being incredible over saturation of the market. Its gotten to the point where there is so much porn on the internet that one more additional video might just cause jizz to spontaneously seep out of our keyboards and screen displays. So you can imagine the struggle one must endure when trying to keep an adult content website relevant in a world where people are so bored of regular sex that they need to watch mature female dwarves tickling the taints of giant horses in order to get off (that’s just a fabricated example though..not speaking from personal experience or anything…I watch regular porn, I swear).

However, one company’s ambitious advertising efforts and ingenious PR campaigns have helped secure their website’s reputation as the household name in porn. That name being Pornhub, of course.

Seriously, these guys and girls working behind-the-scenes for the hub’s marketing team deserve a god damn Nobel prize for their work. Time after time, they have managed to become a trending topic of conversation— naturally inserting themselves into relevant online discussions simply by generating viral news that people love to spread around and talk about. Something that so many companies attempt to do, but fall so very short of, instead landing themselves into proverbial cringe territory.

Take their audio porn series for the visually impaired, for example. A noble initiative that provides an auditory alternative for all the horny blind folks out there who just want to tenderize their hams like the rest of us. A foreword thinking push that not only contributes to the well-being of society, but also shines a positive light on a historically detested industry. It’s also pretty fucking hilariously awesome and got a ton of buzz-worthy reactions online. A Pornhub-curated ‘sexercize’ series entitled, “BangFit” yielded similar results. Their philanthropic ventures even extend out to college scholarships, urging young scholars to “go balls deep into higher education”.

Beyond their charitable ventures, they are also able to keep their brand in peoples tweets by kicking down free merch to meme lords like Brandon Wardell — or by trolling the White House with offers of technical assistance and server space at a time when the Obamacare site needed it the most.

However, their newest campaign might just be my favorite of all. In an attempt to plug their newest paid premium feature, they are granting free upgrades to anybody that lives in a town with a sexually suggestive name.

That means that you may just be eligible for a free Pornhub Premium account if you live in Fort Dick, California, for example, or perhaps Big Bone, Kentucky.  That’s right, there’s no longer a need to be embarrassed at your dinner party when people ask about your hometown. While they are still likely to burst into laughter, at least you can now flex that premium status in their stupid faces, knowing that those losers are all probably still jackin’ their dicks to freebies like a bunch of god damn peasants.

So come together and rejoice, people of Pussy, France! — You too, Dildo, Canada! — Cheers from Fingrinhoe, England! — Don’t think they forgot about all you wonderful Germans in Titz town!

For my fellow Americans, here are all of our cities that qualify:

  • Fort Dick, California
  • Hooker, Oklahoma
  • Bohners Lake, Wisconsin
  • Climax, Michigan
  • French Lick, Indiana
  • Big Bone, Kentucky
  • Horneytown, North Carolina
  • Cumming, Georgia
  • Big Beaver, Pennsylvania
  • Threeway, Virginia

You can also check out the rest of the Premium Places via an interactive map here at Pornhub.com (SFW link…although not sure why you’d be reading about this at work anyway?)

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